Welcome to the Board!!!

Formalizing and being intentional about your personal and professional advisory relationships

I got a call from a friend the other week who was going through a situation at work with a new manager.  She wanted some advise about the specific situation.  Now she didn’t come to me to ask “what should I do about X?”, but she shared the situation, told me what her perspective was, and shared her plan to address it.  I was the sounding board, in this case, that was able to either align or dissent with regards to her approach and also provide suggestions and coaching on how she might augment her plan.  After the situation was remedied and advice was landed—my daughter even provided an edit or two due hands free and speaker phones—our conversation pivoted to a catch up and check in on life. 

Before my friend hung up she said something that was very important and intentional, but a lot of time we fail to formalize and vocalize.  She told me that I was a member of her Board of Directors and she appreciated me taking the time to chat with her.  She also encouraged me to write this piece.  It is interesting because we often have these, “hey, girl, hey… let me get your thoughts” sessions, but I bet a lot of us don’t think of those friends, peers, and mentors as formal stakeholders in our work life.  In that moment she formalized me as a stakeholder in her career—and I love this for us!

A lot of times we have moments in our career where we formulate an idea of a direction, path, approach for a particular situation, but we need to gut check it with someone else.  This situation may be something we’ve not encountered in our career, but we know of a friend, an old manager, or a mentor that may have dealt with something similar or just offers sage advice.  We often times informally reach out and talk through our situations with these individuals.  We make them stakeholders and advisors in our careers and inherently enlist them as members of our very own Board of Directors.  Now, you may say these informal relationships are just great people you can turn to for advice and you are right!  But I challenge you to think of how you can formalize these relationships to be more intentional. 

Think of it this way, every company in America has a board of directors.  The boards of these companies do not meet every day or even every week.  They meet quarterly in most cases to discuss the strategic business of the organization.  Board members are not responsible for running the day-to-day operations or even really interacting with employees outside of key team members of the C-suite and board liaisons.  The board’s role is to provide oversight, guidance, and hold a fiduciary duty to the shareholders.  Similarly, these friends, mentors, old bosses, and sponsors that you may connect with play similar roles (minus the fiduciary responsibilities) in your life. So why wouldn't you as a person, as a leader, formalize your personal board of directors?  

I've always had multiple boards of directors for each of my “entities”. For Tylitha the parent, my mother, tenured mommy friends (shout out to Jackie, Lauren, Lynne, Tara, and my Aunts), and same-aged friends who have older kids have always been strategic advisors.  Past managers and mentors that I’ve picked up along the way have helped provide advice on career decisions.  Lastly, people who are amazing in my field that I’ve worked with in the past, met outside of work, or went to school with are also part of my strategic brain trusts.  No matter what you call them, formalizing these relationships helps you understand the circle of people you can go to for specific scenarios. 

I encourage each of you to write down your important entities that you seek council for.  Think about the people you enlist directly or indirectly as stakeholders to help advise you in your role as a parent, spouse, a leader, etc. and write those names down.  You don’t need to have eight people in each category, but it is important to formalize these relationships for yourself and invest in them.  Decide how often you will connect with them, what types of convesations you want to have, and how you will also reciprocate and invest in them.  Make them aware that they play this role in your life.

Similarly think about who seeks you out for their personal and professional advisory circles.  Recognize these as the “boards” that you have been enlisted to serve on for your circle, and be intentional about how you show up.   

Lastly, think about how you encourage and ensure diversity of thought and perspectives on your boards.  Does everyone you seek advice from think like you?  Do they have the same life experiences and background as you?  Do they all look like you?  If you answered yes to these questions then revisit your circle and ensure that you cast a wider net for board members.  Similar to how companies have started to inject more diverse people and perspectives into their boards, we should do the same otherwise our sounding boards can be monolithic and mirrors of ourselves. 

I hope this helps you think more intentionally about your relationships and connections.  Formalizing your boards is not meant to be an ardous task, but one that helps you recognize, set intentions, and connect more meaningfully.